The Dress Has Arrived

As it often is, my cell phone was packed away in my purse yesterday so I didn't hear its vibrations. But as I was walking home from work, I saw the missed call. An unidentified Northern Virginia number. Hmmm, who could that be? Then, in an instant, I realized: It was about the dress! It had arrived at Tysons Corner, a suburban shopping center.And sure enough, when I listened to the voicemail, my instincts were right on. It was in! Excitement rushed through my body. Yay! Now, here comes the fittings and adjustments and tying up the loose ends, literally. I am still deciding exactly how to wear my hair and style my make-up, but instead of worrying about it, I am excited for my wedding look. I'm consulting friends, magazines, and my devoted hair stylist. Sure, I know it's a little silly to think about my appearance so much for just one day, but it's really one of the few times I feel comfortable letting myself slightly obsess.

A Visual Aid

So, today, after much online searching and dress appointments, I picked out my nuptial attire. I won't go into the details of the dress so that it is a surprise come wedding day but I am thrilled about the outfit! Absolutely thrilled! And a part of me thought I'd be sad to no longer go to the stores and consider all sorts of dresses, I'm really mostly excited that I found one that I love (Plus, a little relieved. It does tire after a while). It feels now that I can visualize the wedding coming into some focus. In Rebecca Mead's book, brides often pick out their dresses first, and I can understand why. It's fun, of course, and unlike a guest list or dinner menu, you can choose it all on your own (Even though weddings, and marriage really, are about planning together, occasionally autonomy is nice). But when you try it on, you can REALLY see yourself as you will look on your wedding day. (Of course, today I rolled out of bed, hopped in the shower, sipped coffee at Java House next door, then headed out with my mother to the dress store. On my wedding I imagine the getting ready steps may be a bit more elaborate. But you get the point). I looked in the three-sided mirror, and a bride looked back at me.

Some Friendly Ears

This weekend, I did a lot of chatting: a long phone conversation Saturday, a relaxing ramble over Sunday brunch, or a squealing session as I shopped for wedding dresses with a friend (and found a real winner, I am pretty sure. more later). At times, the chats turned to the wedding planning--how it was going and how I felt about the whole process. As I sat down last night to watch the Olympic gymnasts on TV and to read the Sunday paper, I was thinking about friendships. How it is so nice to go on and go with friends about my thoughts on wedding planning--I could pick their brains when I wanted to, but there was never an element of judgment in their voices. And they seemed excited to hear me talk about it. I am careful not to tell everyone and their mother's cousin about our wedding--because these details may not enchant those who aren't directly involved--but when a friend is interested, it can be fun, helpful, and a bit stress relieving to discuss all my plans and confide some of my fears like tripping down the aisle. From my friends, I get the sense that it's not necessarily the all the wedding details that hold their interest, it's how I relate to these details. And that's what keeps me talking.

Dress Obsessed

Last night I took another look at wedding dresses. Unlike the first time I went, I actually had a clue of what I wanted--and the sales woman actually listened to me. Without giving too much away to my future husband (and avid blog reader), I found two styles that I really liked. Two styles completely different from each other. I didn't buy anything, but I really began to home in on what I am looking for. Which is more than half the battle, I think. And, really, I've said it before, but it bears repeating: Wedding dress shopping is so much fun. It's almost like you are transported to a world of silk, satin, and lace for an hour. It's dress-up for adults. But, before whipping out a credit card and making a purchase, mindfulness is key. Even as I pranced around excitedly in the gowns, trying on sashes and shimmery belts (which are very in these days, apparently, and actually pretty cute), I was trying to keep in mind "Do I really want this one? Can I see myself getting MARRIED in it? Is an extra few dollars worth it? Is it too dramatic, and will I feel too center stage?" Of course, these questions make the process a bit longer, but really I have the time, it's a fun experience, it certainly can't hurt to time an extra few seconds asking some mindful questions. Getting married has its stresses, but so far, dress shopping has not been one of them. In some ways, I don't want it to end!

All Dressed Up

So, I have begun the wedding dress search, which everyone says is just the best part of the wedding planning process. I agree. Two weekends ago, I had an official appointment at a wedding dress store in Georgetown. Although none of the dresses were a perfect fit for me, it was so much fun prancing around in silk and satin. When I tried them on, I tried to imagine myself walking down the aisle in one, the picture is a bit blurry. Even though we have a place and a date--and I can envision the spiral staircare that I will (carefully) walk down--it still seems unreal. Even as the details come together, will the wedding ever feel real until its actual day? Or is it more of a gradual thing? When each piece of the wedding picture gets set, the whole pie feels more and more like you can see, taste, and smell it. And then when the day comes, it's just a totality of all your efforts.