Today is...

the day. the big day. the wedding day. the day that we've been planning for more than a year, that i've been blogging about for days and weeks and months. the day i've been anticipating is finally here. i feel good. i feel great. excited. a bit nervous. but mostly excited. this morning, after sleeping at my parents' house, i woke up early and practiced yoga for about 40 minutes with my friend hannah. the day is beautiful, and the sun crept in through the windows as we centered ourselves in downward dogs and found balance in our tree poses. after yoga and a bit of breakfast, i hopped in the shower and drove off with my mother to elizabeth arden, where my hair was styled and make up brushed on. i just finished lunch and wanted a moment to blog, to be mindful of the day, to remember how i felt, what i did, the day i got married. everyone has been telling me the wedding day goes so fast, that you turn around and you're married. so i take a moment now to cherish the day, and promise to absorb every minute (or most minutes anyways). promise to relax, not worry about any detail, and embrace the day that i have been waiting for.  

Climbing Mount Fuiji

When I was in Japan, toward the end of my time there, I climbed Mt. Fuiji. I hesitated about the hike, worried that it would be too challenging for an unexperienced climber such as myself. And I had heard from many people that Mt. Fuiji was best seen from afar, not close up. And indeed, catching glimpses of this distant, magical mountain from my kitchen window was breathtaking. But the trek up...I wasn't so sure! Nevertheless, I decided to climb it. I was nervous, and not sure how to prepare. I ended up completely overpacking, stuffing everything from shorts to snow pants into my large climbing pack that was meant for adventures that lasted much longer than the one-day and one-night hike up and down the mountain. The overpacking did me more harm than good, as I had to lug it up and down the climb. The hike was hard. But memorable. I remember, in the dead dark of night, facing a particularly steep section with two friends. We each had a flashlight (mine was a headlight, so I had my hands free although I looked a little stupid in the pictures), and literally took the section step by step. Both of my friends weren't American, but had seen Gone With the Wind and were asking me for a Civil War history lesson. I did my best to remember the Gettysburg Address and Reconstruction and so on. Sure enough, we got to the top, and then trekked back down again. It was hard, but it was an amazing, amazing journey.

Craziness

Today, when I was telling a coworker about my upcoming wedding, she said I was so calm considering its immediate proximity. I took it as a compliment, but didn't really believe her. The wedding, I feel, has consumed me. It has taken me whole, swirled me up in the air. I feel like a piece of melted taffy, bending to the whims and desires of this friendly beast. But it's ok, I think, because I look calm on the outside! And until now, I have been (relatively) crazy-free, at least in respect to the wedding. Now, I dream wedding, I eat wedding for breakfast, I think wedding even when I am trying to do pleasure reading, I talk wedding to friends, family, strangers, storekeepers, colleagues...anyone who will lend half an ear. I write wedding in my blog. It has usurped me. Days go by, inching up to the big day. I don't have a calendar where you rip a page off every day, but that's how I feel. I haven't quite calculated how many days it is to W-day, but each morning I wake up and think, "I am one day closer."

What's Left?

That's the new question. Several people have been asking now, "Well, all the planning must be done, right?" I laughed at first--how can everything be done? It doesn't seem like everything will be done until, well, the wedding is over. Sure, I'm not planning on finalizing the seating chart on menu options right before I head down the aisle, but it's hard to imagine the wedding being done before it even starts. But then I think again. A lot has been planned, mapped out, even executed. The place has been reserved, the flower arrangements decided, the food selected, the music vendor picked (although we need to figure out what they'll play), the invitations sent, the DC marriage license secured. Dan has a new suit, I have a new dress, and we both have new bands. Sometimes, when I stop to think about what has happened in the year since we became engaged, my heads spins with unbelievability. So, when people say "It's almost all done right?" I guess it is, when you take a moment to look back. But when I look forward, I think "No, we still have a wedding to go to!"

I'm back

So, I've been a neglectful blogger. Between a new job, a wedding weeks away, it's been hard to find a minute to relax. And when I do, sometimes I want to retreat far away from the wedding thought process. Plus, I put In Treatment on my Blockbuster access queue, and now I am hooked! I've been so neglectful, that I couldn't even remember what the last topic was that I blogged about. But when I logged in this time, and saw that it was "Who's Coming?", I thought "that's perfect." Because between then and now, I have a much better answer. There are have been some surprises either way--some conflicts we didn't know about stopping a few from attending. But there also have been people, who live far away and though we hoped, we didn't think would come. Perhaps the biggest case is my Japanese co-workers, from my days abroad teaching English. Just over the weekend, we learned that in fact one teacher was making the long trip across the Pacific to watch us get married. Today, I found out that another teacher would also be in attendance. I can't tell you how honored I feel that people would travel so far, to a different country 10,000 miles away, to come to our wedding. Truly, truly honored. And as I finish off this e-mail and head to bed, I wonder if there is another reason why my blog posts have been more infrequent than in days past: it's becoming harder and harder to find the right words to describe my feelings. But, as a writer by day and night, I'll try to find the best way to articulate the prewedding intensity!

Who is Coming?

That is the question I ask myself everyday--and my parents, as I continue to call them with this very question on my way home to the metro from work. Who has written their response, sealed the envelop and dropped it in the mail, to arrive at my parents' house a day or three later (depending, of course, on geographic proximity to Washington). At first, the responses were pouring in. One day, we even had nine, which my parents brought to me (it happened to also be the first day of Passover, so they were here for our sedar) and I eagerly ripped open, excited to see who could come, or who had to decline. But after the early flood, the responses have been slower. A few days, there haven't been any. Ususally, though, it's one or two, sometimes more. We're in the mushy middle of the May 5 response deadline, I fear. Cinco de mayo isn't exactly around the corner (everything is relative at this point. At the near end of the wedding planning, there is a ton to accomplish between today and tomorrow), so within the few days, even week, I imagine the slow steady trickle to continue. Then, as with any deadline--for work, school, or play--the pace will pick up, the number of envelopes pushed through my parents' door will skyrocket. And the answers, the yeses and the nos, will be known.

Say Cheese

Last Saturday, on a quintessentially perfect Washington spring day, Dan and I got some engagement photographs taken. As part of the photographer's package, we had a "casual shoot" at the National Arboretum. With the sun shining high in the clear sky and the air filled with the smell of purple lilac, we tried to act natural as the photographer skillfully captured us walking, talking, laughing and kissing (she told us to!!). It felt a little awkward at first to be the focus of the photographer's lens, but slowly we got used to it. Like I said, the stunning environs helped put us at ease. The pictures came out great. And it got me thinking, how cameras can just hold a moment so well, long after the day has passed. I think that's partly why people invest so much in wedding photography, the pictures last a lot longer than the eight hours a wedding does. And so, I've gotten more of an appreciation for photos, and their ability to keep things alive. Last night, my friend Andrea was telling me about her own burgeoning photography and flickr site, making me want to buy my own nice camera and capture everything.

Breathing Lessons

As wedding energy pumps up, I take a minute to slow down. Things, I feel, are going at a whirlwind pace. Everyday, I wonder who else has RSVPed, everyday the to-do list gets updated, with items checked off and new tasks to tackle. It's tough to stay calm. I feel the wedding that was once more than a year away growing closer and closer. I don't feel behind, or disorganized, or worried. These final days are just a ton of balls in the air, though. The devil is in the details, and boy are there a lot of devils. But you know what else is coming more into focus: the rest of my life! My life past the wedding, with its catered food and music and dancing and family and friends. Just this week, I was looking at the calendar for the rest of the year (trying to figure out vacation days for the honeymoon), and Dan and I were talking about a September trip to Chicago for a friend's wedding and the High Holidays. It's a comforting feeling, knowing that there really is life after wedding, because with all the planning and focus on that big day, sometimes I lose track of that fact. And so, as the day draws nearer, I am trying to remember to breathe deeply, enjoy the final days of planning, and look forward to the big event and the many other big events thereafter.

Mindful Twittering

As time trickles down toward the wedding (less than two months to go...I can't believe it), I thought I might need something in addition to the blog to update my readers on the latest nuptial news. Time is more limited now, and things are happening faster. In fact, just today, my mindful groom ordered our wedding bands (as in the rings, not the music) and dropped off information necessary for our marriage certificate. The details have sprung into action--no longer is it "find a venue for the reception" but "start doing seat assignments." We've hired a caterer, but now we need to decide between yakitori or citrus marinated salmon fillets. For cupcakes--vanilla or chocolate? Mango or raspberry sorbet? Traditional or modern ketubah? The planning stage is more intense, more fast-paced, but I am trying to remember to relax, to have fun with the details, and to twitter about them. So check me out on my new twitter site: www.twitter.com/mindfulbride. But don't worry, I'm still a mindful blogger, too!

Who's Coming?

Now, the exciting part begins: getting the RVSP notes. We had the responses sent to my parents' house, so almost every day I call them, begging them to tell me 1) how many of the off-white, self-addressed envelopes returned to them 2) what the letters inside said. And so, one or the other of them finds the mail, sorts out the response cards, and reads each message out loud to me. More often than not, Dan is in the background, and I convey my parents' message to him. I purposely left the response card blank--a tip I learned from a bridal magazine--to encourage creative responses from our guests. So far, their poignant witticisms haven't disappointed me. What did disappoint me was yesterday, when none of the responses came in the mail. I actually felt sad, and both Dan and my dad told me, "That's it. There are no more guests coming." Fortunately, that's not true, because four more "yeses" arrived in the mail today. I spoke to my mother at 8pm to get the latest update. And, as I prepare for sleep, I only wonder what I'll learn tomorrow.

Meaning in Matzah

2009 is just full of firsts: last night, Dan and I hosted an inaugural sedar. A small sedar, but a sedar nonetheless, complete with horse radish, haroset (the delicious apple and nut concoction), matzah, and all the other traditional Passover delicacies. We passed over the standard brisket in favor of chile-rubbed salmon fillet topped with an avocado pineapple salsa. My parents came over, bringing the ever popular matzah ball soup, some wine, and chocolates for dessert. It was a small, cozy sedar honoring the importance of freedom and liberation, and as we read the prayer book, one line stayed with me. "Every generation must find freedom for itself." I am sure this line can be interpreted several ways, but on the eve of my wedding (I'm speaking figuratively here...it's not literally tomorrow), I was thinking that every person must carve his or her own path as they grow up. They should have the freedom to choose their job, their home, their hobbies, their friends, and their life partners. The choices aren't always easy, and like the leavened bread we forego for eight days, they come with certain sacrifices. But in the end, these choices help define who were are.

Please RSVP By...

The invitations arrived. A square shaped piece of paper, with Elissa and Daniel written in big silvery gray cursive letters at the top. (A whimsical, slightly less formal cursive). The text below is in the same font and color, only smaller. The whole invitation is framed with a one-eighth inch of the same silvery gray hue. If you turn the invitation to its back side, it is a solid silver gray. I think they came out beautifully, if I do say so myself. Last week Dan and I spent the evenings stuffing the invites, placing the invitations ever so delicately inside the silver-lined envelope. In another process, we stuffed directions, parking information, and a response card inside the response envelop, which we then added to the larger invitation envelope. Then came stamp time. Rather than affix an ugly $1.00 stamp to each envelope, I splurged for two, much nice $.42 and $.59 stamps (price $1.01). Then, with everything glued, stuffed, inserted, Dan dropped them off, where they'll travel all across the world.

Surprise!

This morning I woke up, and thinking of my long wedding to-do list, I nudged Dan out of sleep. "Dan" I said. "You know what we should do?" "What" he replied sleepily. "We should just get married TODAY!" "What?" he repeated. I went on to recite the nuptial-related errands, everything from mailing out invitations to finalizing the menu to picking out the wedding-day attire. "I am not saying we shouldn't have THAT wedding, but wouldn't it be so nice just to already be married, so when June 7th comes around, we can relax, knowing that we are already hitched," I explained, excited growing in my voice. We could get married today. We could go to sleep tonight husband and wife. Dan sat up in bed, thinking for a second. "It's an intriguing plan," he said. "Do you think the rabbi could come on such short notice?" I hesitated. Like most rabbis, ours is over-extended and always busy. Getting him to come with no advance warning was more or less impossible. But sure enough, he had a cancelled appointment, and was able to squeeze our ceremony in. Keeping with tradition, I wore a white skirt and matching top; Dan put on his favorite black corduroy blazer with the suede elbow patches, a crisp white shirt, and dark gray slacks. The event happened so quickly, in such a blur, that I really can't remember much else. Except the date: April 1st!!!

A New Pet?

On my way to work this morning, I abruptly stopped in front of the newspaper stand. A picture on the front page of the paper had begged my attention. It was a baby leopard, born at the national zoo. Unbelievably adorable, this precious ball of orange and black fur pulled at my heart strings like only newborn animals can do (I was overwhelmed with emotion when I saw pictures of little Tai Shan, the panda born three years ago). Early yesterday, two leopard cubs were found alive--the first time in 16 years!

Chocolate Mojitos

After the shower, I collapsed on my apartment couch for a blissful 30 minutes. I awoke and rushed to a clock to check the time. It was 7:10! Dinner started at 8pm, and I had was supposed to arrive at Dan's sisters' hotel room at 7:15 for a make-up touch up. I quickly changed into my bachelorette party attire--a simple, short black dress and tall black boots, adorned with green dangling earrings and a green shawl. I made it to the hotel by 7:30, and with no time for make-up, Dan's sisters, cousin and I hopped in a cab to the restaurant, Coco Salas. Chocolate mojitos are their signature drink, and I had one in hand quite soon after I arrived. It was delicious. The green mint flakes fluttered in the drink, which was topped with dark chocolate shavings. I was given a pink feather boa, a tiara that said "Bride to Be," a garter, and some other bachelorette items, and soon the food came out, one dish at a time.

The scrumptious mac and cheese tart, the portebella mushroom pizza, and my favorite--the goat cheese and beet salad--were all quickly devoured, along with the mojitos. Sixteen of us girls were out on the town, and the group of us sipped and ate, laughed and talked, (some) took shots, caught up with old friends, and just celebrated a night out! Occasionally, a stranger would come up to me and offer his or her congratulations. I would look puzzled for a moment, and then remember between my boa and tiara, the fact I was on my way to marriage was all too clear!

Minutes Become Moments

I felt a burst of excitement as my parents' house filled with family and friends from every stage of my life. On the eve of spring, I admired people's light pink skirts and royal blue dresses. The kitchen was filled with bite-sized goat cheese, chive, and cucumber sandwiches; cranberry scones topped with blackberry jam; and creamy mini cheesecakes drizzled with chocolate sauce. After chit chat and nibbling, my shower guests formed a circle formed to watch me unwrap my shower presents. My grandmother was to my right, handing me a knife to open the more unruly boxes and a glass of water to keep me hydrated. My future niece Ashley sat on the floor, almost as excited as I was for each gift. She diligently made sure every piece of wrapping paper went into a white trash bag, while her cousin, two-year old Yael absorbed the whole shower experience with wide-eyed curiosity. My shower was on Saturday, smack in the middle of a fun-filled bachelorette weekend. Yesterday afternoon, as most of the out-of-town relatives and friends had flown home, I sat in a pedicure chair, relaxing as my feet got pampered. I read an article on mindfulness, and the piece begged people to make minutes into moments. To be aware of everything around you at a given point, to relish and savor that time. The shower was most definitely a moment.

Hello, Again

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I posted on mindful bride. I missed it. I was busy, well, wedding planning! And finishing up some work assignments. But rather than go into any of that right now, I wanted to discuss a meditation workshop I attended last weekend. It was a four-hour affair, complete with several guided sitting meditations, some walking and slow movement meditations, and finally, the most relaxing thing ever--laying down meditation. The course was challenging, especially the sitting ones. I felt my legs grow numb from the lack of circulation, my mind wandering off to all sorts of other topics, and my shut eyes begging to open up and take in the whole world around them. Meditation isn't easy. We had a 15-minute break before the second half of the workshop, and once we returned we entered the laying down meditation. Laying down has its own challenges--namely, not falling asleep--but I found it the most peaceful experience. Closing my eyes, relaxing my body, I didn't think about work, or wedding, or anything else. I just lay. I don't know how long I was there, but when I reentered reality, I felt so calm. I took note of that feeling, and remember it when the world around me gets stressful.

Four Lists Become One**

This weekend, we put our finishing touches on our guest list. Dan and I are on the edge of the millennial generation, a generation not known for snail mail correspondence or staying in one place for too long. So tracking down addresses was difficult. And as people who grew up with spell check--a tool with miminal functionality for editing a list of names and cities--we had to carefully review all the facts with our naked eye. But we persevered and created a beautiful Microsoft Excel document with all our invitees listed alphabetically. Looking through it was pretty amazing: family I've known my whole life, friends from childhood and ones I've met more recently, my parents' friends who I grew up with, family and friends of Dan's that I've gotten to know so well over the last four plus years, and then a few people I haven't met yet but heard lots of stories about--like Dan's uncle in South Africa and his father's racket ball partner. And so, with the "i"s literally dotted and "t"s crossed, we are sending the list to the invitation vendor, who will somewhat magically return them, sealed and addressed, back to us for mailing.
**title created by mother of the bride

The Dress Has Arrived

As it often is, my cell phone was packed away in my purse yesterday so I didn't hear its vibrations. But as I was walking home from work, I saw the missed call. An unidentified Northern Virginia number. Hmmm, who could that be? Then, in an instant, I realized: It was about the dress! It had arrived at Tysons Corner, a suburban shopping center.And sure enough, when I listened to the voicemail, my instincts were right on. It was in! Excitement rushed through my body. Yay! Now, here comes the fittings and adjustments and tying up the loose ends, literally. I am still deciding exactly how to wear my hair and style my make-up, but instead of worrying about it, I am excited for my wedding look. I'm consulting friends, magazines, and my devoted hair stylist. Sure, I know it's a little silly to think about my appearance so much for just one day, but it's really one of the few times I feel comfortable letting myself slightly obsess.

In Like A Lion

So March is my birthday month BUT it's kinda awful right now. My 25-minute trek to work was, well, miserable. The biting winds, the patches of ice---no, no, no! Shouldn't spring be on its way already? Shouldn't the buds be sprouting up on the naked trees? I know I said last time that snow had a calming effect--clearly I didn't know what I was talking about. A calming situation would be me on a beach with a pina colada in hand. In warm weather! But what can you do, except drink hot tea, wear warm clothes, and complain a bit on your blog. And constantly reapply the hand lotion, because as soon as I apply, the skin absorbs the moisturizer like quicksand and begs for more. But then, as I write and vent, I remember that if March is in like a lion, surely it's out like a lamb, as the elementary school saying goes. And I say that not only as a prayer for good weather on my wedding day, but as a reminder that even if the going is rough at times, sooner or later the wind stops blowing, the trees have rich green leaves, and the sun shines brightly on a 70 degree day. And my fruity cocktail is waiting for me.