A Different Arrangement

This morning as I was getting dressed, I turned on the radio to NPR. After a short segment on last night's final debate, a man came on the air waves talking about how he met his wife. No, not at a bar or through mutual friends or online. His parents picked. Arranged marriages seem crazy to me and my Western-minded beliefs. You find love in someone, date for a while, and gradually discover more and more about the person. It's like a picture that you begin to see more clearly---you learn their favorite sandwich is tuna fish with avocado on toasted wheat, that they can't stand the sound of slurping or early mornings, and that they fold laundry like a champion but shudder at the thought of cleaning the bathroom. (and of course, you learn about some more important things as well, like their life dreams and whatnot). Once the picture comes into a good view, then you--and you alone--decide that this is the ONE. Tossing this process aside and handing mom the reins--not really an option! But I was engrossed in listening to this couple, married now for six years, with a child, say how it worked for them. And it did. It's not a process of finding that special person, but working with the one you have. It reminds me of that old song "Love the One You're With." Falling in love, for them, happened after their marriage, as they starting spending every day and night together. What I really liked about this story was how the couple constantly worked to build a good relationship. As someone who met my future husband on my own time, my premarital relationship might be more developed. But any way you cultivate a marriage, it needs a lot of H20 and TLC. This couple had that.