Making Your Own Waves

And now, for my second guest writer, I bring you my friend Anne, who married her husband in a small, unique ceremony.

On June 1, 2002, I married Kevin Andrew Hurst in a simple ceremony at a B&B in Manteo, North Carolina. For recent college grads, our wedding was a bit unconventional:

*We didn’t have a first dance (in fact, there was no dancing);
*I didn’t wear a veil;
*Kevin didn’t wear a tuxedo;
*I did not go to a salon and have my hair and makeup done;
*We didn’t have flower arrangements besides the daisies I chose for my bouquet at the florist the day before;
*We did not have a DJ (though we did hire a local couple who played the violin and the mandolin);
*We did not have a complex, tiered cake (Kevin doesn’t like cake); and
*We did not register for anything.

But you know what? Our wedding was perfect—for us.

We did not want our parents pouring money into an event that lasts a single day. And being frugal (okay, cheap), we wanted to save our money for traveling and purchasing a house. I’ve never been much of a girly girl and Kevin dreads crowds so a small, intimate wedding was logical. The B&B had an onsite wedding coordinator who made all the arrangements. Kevin picked out a seer sucker suit from Banana Republic and I found a simple linen J Crew number (before their wedding collections!). Of course, it was difficult to tell friends and extended family that we were just having immediate family at our wedding. There were some hurt feelings, but most of our social network was supportive, realizing it was our wedding and we should choose the framework for it.

The wedding weekend felt like a family vacation at the beach and was low key. Since our families had not spent time together, it allowed them to get to know each other. We had several dinners together and had leisurely breakfasts on the B&B’s veranda. After the wedding ceremony, we listened to the string musicians, sipped champagne, and munched on sushi in the B&B’s sun-dappled courtyard as Kevin’s nephews tumbled around on the ground. Then we walked to a nearby restaurant and had a lovely meal. The following day, Kevin and I had a beach picnic and biked around the island exploring its historic, moss-covered neighborhoods, a perfect coda to our wedding weekend, and so very “Anne and Kevin.”

Having a small, intimate wedding is not for everyone, but far too often, I hear my friends say, “oh I wish I would have done what you did.” Hearing this makes me sad because a wedding should be about the couple and should reflect their unique style. I think Kevin and I achieved that with our wedding. You should, too!