Eileen and Justin's Wedding

At 11:00am yesterday morning, I walked down the aisle, remembering not to step too quickly and smile gracefully even though I was a little nervous. "What?" you readers are thinking. "Did you and Dan elope?" Nope. I was a bridesmaid. My friend from childhood, Eileen, and her new husband Justin got married yesterday, in a beautiful ceremony followed by a fun-filled and special reception (note: the food, particularly the chocolate coated macaroons and the espresso bar were huge hits. Just thinking of the sweet coconut cookie dipped in a latte makes me hungry). Eileen looked great. Not because of her beaded white dress or long lace veil. But because she had the bridal glow, the glow of happiness. And I felt really honored to be a part of the wedding. I've known Eileen since elementary school, and we've had more than our fair share of skinned knees and elbows courtesy of rollerblading injuries. (check out my post after her bridal shower for more details). It's a pretty amazing feeling to watch someone you've known the majority of your life, who's been a constant through so much of the memorable growing up years, go through a major rite of passage. I hope my wedding has a similar warm and special aura. Although I don't know if any dessert could compare to those macaroons.

On Blogging

With 100 posts behind me and 1.5 million hits (thanks readers!), I decided to devote a post to blogging itself. I started the blog last summer (2007), under the name Sunflowers and Intuitions (I love the beautiful, friendly sunflowers). But writing about ruminations was more difficult than I thought, and I let my online diary drift off into the mighty blogosphere. But in July, after the initial engagement excited was waning and the reality of planning a wedding was setting in, I knew I needed an outlet. And so the blog was reborn under a new name. Having a theme helps the writing process, and there is usually one aspect of the wedding I can talk about at any given moment. Blogging can be scary. You never know if the words you type somehow get miscommunicated to your readers, or, like any other type of writing, if your readers will think your words are too deep, too shallow, too pretentious, too silly. That's the risk of writing...you put yourself out there. But the rewards are there too, when someone comments on a post, or a friend or family member says they really enjoyed a certain theme I discussed. And the personal rewards too--every post I publish feels like a minor achievement. With blogging comes a chance to be creative with words, to vent frustrations, to think about what marriage actually means. Many of my family members and friends have told me that having a blog to read connects them to us and our wedding process, even though they are a plane ride away. When I started blogging, I didn't envision that. I guess when you take a chance, the benefits can often surprise you.

Shades of White

A few weekends ago, I made another wedding purchase: a veil. Dan's sisters had both used the same veil in their weddings, and they lent it to me to wear as well. I liked the idea of handing something down from wedding to wedding, but when I went to the bridal boutique to try on their veil with my dress, it didn't match! In my naivete, I had just assumed white was white, and their classically elegant, egg-shell colored veil would work with my ivory dress. Boy, was I wrong. It clashed. I was disappointed, not to wear their veil. But I went back to the drawing board, or bridal dress shop rather. Finding another veil wasn't that hard...and actually the two veils are very similar in style, just not color. And so the story ends on a happy note. But I share this little segment of my wedding planning process for the two lessons I learned from it: never make assumptions, and there are many, many shades of white.

Stress Busters

So, I was reading an article yesterday on managing the stress of planning a wedding. I really liked one idea, so much so that Dan and I had implemented it, even before I saw this piece. The idea was to schedule times where wedding talk is banned..the article suggested whole weekends at a time, but we have taken it more gradually to not discuss any nuptial details past 11pm or Saturday nights and Sunday mornings. Not that we talk about the wedding the rest of the week, but that time is forbidden. I like that, because it emphasizes that there is a life outside of the wedding, there are still things to think about, talk about, and do together.

Recession Wedding

Every morning, I get dressed while listening to NPR's market report. As I pick what sweater to wear and apply mascara and foundation, I hear about the job losses and auto industry bailout and sacrifices people are making in these difficult economic times. When I think about our wedding in the context of this global recession, it puts the choices about cakes and bands into better perspective. Sometimes I feel guilty having a nice wedding when people nationwide are worried where their next paycheck is coming from. It's somewhat illogical--if I cut back on the dessert or music, our nation's fiscal problems won't be solved and everyone's 401Ks won't reverse their steep downward spiral. But I keep coming back to a thought I've had over the last few months--having a beautiful wedding is a gift, something to be grateful for, something to appreciate and not take for granted. Sometimes when I talk to potential vendors, I get annoyed. They all make me feel like I NEED to buy this or have that--otherwise my wedding won't be complete. I feel cheap if I don't succomb to their suggestions, and a spend thrift if I do. But then I think again--these vendors, too, are a product of our economic slump and are also hoping to get a few extra bucks through my business.

Piece of (Cup) Cake

Last Tuesday, Dan and I and my friend Hannah went to Hello Cupcake, a trendy cupcake confectionary in Dupont Circle, to sample cupcakes. After splitting six kinds between us, we were completely stuffed with sugary goodness, but had made some progress on what flavors would work for our dessert. (My favorite was a vanilla cake with creamy lemon icing. YUM). But as we tasted and rated cupcakes, Dan and I were also dealing with something not so sweet. Last week was the first time where there was a difference of opinions between various stakeholders in the wedding. It was over the band, whether to go for the original one we'd found once we realized the band would take up more space on the dance floor than we'd envisioned. I'll spare you the details, but I was a little frustrated and sad with the experience. Not because I was really set on one particular band--I was fairly neutral on this issue--but because I hate when people are disappointed. But as the issue is resolving itself--we found another great band--I did some real thinking about the wedding. What I want out of it. And really, what I want more than anything, is the day itself, and the planning preceding it, to be as enjoyable, conflict-free, and relaxed as possible. But that may not always happen. And when stressors arise and people disagree, I want to realize it's okay, that these things will slowly, gradually work themselves out.

Croatia, We're A'Coming

So we've chosen a honeymoon destination: Croatia. Its glistening beaches, historical sites, and pristine national parks have beckoned. My blog readers agree, as they picked this Eastern European country on a survey I conducted a few months back. On Saturday night, Dan and I waited in a Barnes and Noble to see Slum Dog Millionaire (the 8pm showing was sold out, so we settled for the 10pm. It was worth the 2-hour bookstore browse. Great movie!), where we paged through several guide books. The never dormant travel bug in me awakened with a frenzy, excited to read about this secluded beach or that famous local restaurant. Dan shares my love of international travel, and I soon saw him drift deeper into the books, dreaming of a scuba dive off a Croatian beach. We bought one book, a glossy covered Frommer's guide that includes several itineries and lists of the best shorelines, diving spots, hotels, and hiking. Let the travel planning begin!

Six Months Away

As I was watching Sunday afternoon football with friends, someone pointed out to me that our wedding is six months away. June 7. It's hard to believe that a warm, late spring wedding is on the way, considering Washington is blanketed with winterness--biting winds and cold nights. But before you know it, the spring, and our wedding day, will arrive. We're a season away from getting hitched. We've been engaged for seven months, and with six months to go, we're past the halfway point. When I realized I only had six months to get everything into gear, I momentarily panicked. But then I remembered that I had checked off all the items included in the 6-9 prenuptial period, according to a checklist which I ripped out of a bridal magazine and taped to our fridge door. So I calmed down. As we walked home from our friends' place, Dan reassured me with promises of building more spreadsheets so we could organize exactly what we needed to do.  I laughed. Anyway who knows Dan's affinity for Microsoft Excel and any other organizational tools would chuckle too. But then, as we continued our walk in the bitter cold, I started thinking a bit bigger: in six months, I'll be a wife. I'll have a husband. It's pretty amazing. 

Trend Setter

Don't have too much time now, but I just realized I'm a trend setter. On my way to work today, I glimpsed at a front page headline on the Washington Post Express. It read "Sunny Outlook: Style experts say bright yellow will be hot in 2009." Check out the full article here. (Scroll to page 31). Did I not pick the yellow-and-white color scheme for our wedding a month or so ago? This blog is proof! Surely my own color preferences didn't influence the fashion world...or did they?

A Tale of Two Wallets

There's a Trader Joe's about a block from my office, where I often go after work to buy groceries for dinner. About six months ago, I was there on such a shopping excursion. I was in line, waiting as the cashier scanned all my items and asked for me to swipe my credit card. I reached into my brown messenger bag in search of my wallet. I felt a book, my cell phone, and various flavors of lip gloss, but no wallet. Panic set in. Where could it be? Suddenly I imagined someone sneaking into my office, stealing the wallet, and traveling halfway around the world, charging everything to my plastic. The cashier asked again for my card. "I don't have it," I said. "That's OK. No big deal" she said, taking the brown paper bag filled with the night's dinner contents away from me. "It's not OK," I said, either out loud or to myself, to this day I can't remember. "My wallet's gone. Someone's over in Europe spending my hard-earned cash." (OK, the second part I definitely didn't say out loud). After she took the bag of groceries, I sprinted back to the office, where sure enough I spotted my wallet, completely in tact and locked away in a desk drawer. By that point, I decided to avoid a second Trader Joe's trip and so we scavaged for dinner. Fast forward to yesterday. I'm back in line at Trader Joe's, about to pay when my wallet again cannot be found. I pause for a second, remembering that I had opened by wallet for change to buy an afternoon candy bar and had again, locked it up in the desk drawer, rather than put it back in my purse. I asked the cashier to hold my food--which they can do, FYI--and ran back to the office. Sure enough, it was safe and sound in my office. I returned to the store, paid for and collected my groceries, and had a nice dinner. Aha, the wonders of mindfulness. Maybe these two stories have nothing to do with weddings, but as the rabbi told us in our second meeting with him last week, use proven solutions or strategies for new problems. A pause, a deep breath, a moment of calm, could make a world of difference.